Those of us who used to post, then didn't, then wanted to, then didn't, then think about it a lot, then really want to, eventually want to write a 'post about posting' when they finally post again. I think that's a bad idea. Instead I want to post like I've always been posting. And so I will.
Recently I went to the doctor. I've got some sort of bacterial throat sinus cough-y infection yuck thing. But what I remember, and what I think about all the time anyway, is that the sort of nervous gal who took my blood pressure had to use a special cuff, one labeled, "Large Adult." Now it's not like I'm so big these days that they couldn't twist the thing around my huge-ass arms, but I am fairly big and they were having some trouble getting a decent reading. I am really bummed about my weight, a fact of life that is most definitely on my mind as I look at my horrible ill-fitting and unflattering wardrobe and get tons of painful reminders of ugh, including my 4-year-olds increasing awareness that mommy might not be a beauty queen.
My mom, however, kind of was. She was extraordinarily unconventional and really quite mad, but at the root of it all, she was incredibly beautiful and she knew it. Partly as a reaction to her, I've always sort of been defiant about not adhering to societal convention when it comes to makeup, certain types of clothing, and I suppose, a type of figure. I've always wanted to prove that it could be done "my way". But I think that there was a part of this that's just plain laziness.
So I find myself at one of these crossroads, once again, as I have so many times before. But now, unlike so many times in the past few years, things are going quite well. So many good things have been happening in our lives. Mia is an unbelievable child, really an amazing human being. I feel so blessed every day. And we've moved to the North side of Chicago, which has been great for us. Our apartment is gorgeous and we're really enjoying it.
And my work life has changed considerably, something I haven't written about yet but suffice to say that I made some changes that were a long time in coming. I guess I haven't written about work yet because I am still processing it. See, I have been in interactive advertising since the very beginning. Since the beginning, the early days, literally since the pioneer days, which is a very weird thing. And it's been through a lot of ups and downs, as have I. The last few years I've seen some really crazy things that I've had to spend some serious time thinking about and I have to say, I've come up with some interesting insights about the whole thing. You will definitely be hearing more from me about this subject in the future.
So I guess my point is I am making changes. I'm cutting my hair short on Friday. And I'm trying once again to get more fit, to move more and feel more like myself. I may be a Large Adult, but I feel like I want to be living large.
