So basically here is the story of Mia's dad: Adrian.
I met Adrian in the summer of July 2001, shortly after I lost my job working many, many years for an interactive ad agency. He was (and still sometimes is) my neighbor, living with his mom and her boyfriend in the apartment building next door. Cute, Polish and, er, 17 years younger than me. At the time: 21. Don't feel sorry for the young tyke, he had been around quite a bit and I don't really want to get into the particulars. Suffice to say I was not taking advantage of him. On the contrary, we fell into a rather steamy affair that lasted well past the summer romance I intended. Adrian is very sweet, very earnest and I liked him very much, but this type of affair had to end at some point because we simply didn't have anything (besides an incredibly strong chemical attraction) in common. So I broke it off with him.
But ... surely you've heard of break up sex. Y'know, the kind where you might as well get together one or two more times cause you know you're never going to again and you might as well because that wasn't ever the problem? So we did ... one ... or two more times. And that, as they say, did the trick.
When I first started sleeping with Adrian, I was very careful about using birth control. But I also told him that if, for some accidental reason, I did get pregnant, I would most certainly have a child. He wasn't crazy about this scenario but I told him that I'd do the whole thing myself, not involve him, etc. He was dubious, but I explained to him that at my age, if I got pregnant, I was pretty resolved that it would be a blessing, a sign, etc. Anyway, the chances of something like that happening were pretty remote because ...
A few times where I felt that we had unprotected sex that was very risky for pregnancy, I actually took the morning after pill. Then I went ahead and actually went on the birth control pill for most of our relationship. It was near the end of our affair that I said to myself, why am I, at 39, taking birth control? It's crazy. So I broke up with Adrian, and went off the pill. Enter procreation just a couple of weeks later. The odds were against conception.
But when I told Adrian about Mia he had known me for quite a while by then, nearly a year, and I think he trusted that I was doing the right thing by bringing Mia into the world. It's actually remarkable how much Adrian and his mom respect my privacy. It's an awkward situation, but I certainly haven't shut them out of her life. I think as Adrian gets older, he will become a little more mature in his relationships and find a way to relate to Mia and if Mia wants that and/or feels like she needs it, then that would be great! As weird as it might sound, my relationship with Adrian has morphed into a more motherly or big sister role ... he needs a lot of guidance in his life.
Okay then. Purge and Repeat.