I know I'm not alone in my increasing gnawing annoyance at the proliferation at spam aimed at the penis these days. Now this has nothing to do with penis envy, I'm as big a fan of the organ as the next gal, but man, oh man these emails are driving me batty! I used to greet the sweet alarm notes of Microsoft Outlook with glee, eager to see what email awaited me. Now I dread whatever penis pitch has made its way into my formerly well-protected mailbox. It feels like data rape.
Back in the day, like three months ago, I used to have a spam filter that worked really well. My ISP is SBC Yahoo and their spam filter caught the occassional porn email and other assorted sundry advertisements. We lived in happy harmony. Then one day I received no email. And the next day the same strange thing occurred. Of course, this coincided with my re-emergence as an important and in-demand writer, so what do I see when I hit the filter? Like a zillion work-related emails! Yikes. The filter nabbed email addresses it used to let through, like it suddenly developed a grudge.
So I reprogrammed it, re-taught it who to accept and who to reject. But the damn thing wouldn't learn. It kept eating up my good email and forcing me to go to Yahoo, rather than get my email through my alias account at Outlook. I didn't like the situation and since I didn't get all that many spams anyway, I bagged the filter. Big mistake.
Almost instantly the floodgates opened. Ebay turnkey solutions. Weight loss for dummies. My old Nigerian friends with their big bucks to invest. But most persistently, the penis patrol.
In the midst of this I got hit with the worm. That damn virus started sending itself to me, messing with my non-spam emails and creating general havoc and mayhem in PCVille, the only town I work in these days. Luckily, it seems to be under control right now.
Penis patches, worms and spam. A real mess if you ask me.