The Wordmistress

Heartbeat, it's a Lovebeat

So in case you don't yet know the story, I had chest pains recently. My sweet, lovely, amazing friend Wenner took me to the hospital and once there, the doctors just wouldn't. let. me. leave. They ran a bunch of tests on me ... most focusing on my heart, of course. Among these were a series of EKGs, which revealed an abnormality. The kicker was a stress test, and besides being a little stressful ... I passed it with flying colors. Fast forward to the end of a 24-hour stay and the verdict looked great on paper -- I was going to live. But I wasn't satisfied.

What the wha? Unsatisfied with a prognosis of life? The ungratefulness of a sow such as me. But let me explain. I've suffered with stomach/digestive/f-ed up system issues for about two years now. I actually started a blog about it a few months ago. And so I was released back into the world ... my chest ostensibly okay, but my stomach still hurtin' and this time, hurting a bit worse then usual.

It's odd, when I went into the hospital, doctors would ask me about pain. I have been in some sort of pain almost non-stop for the past two years. And digestive pain is some of the most uncomfortable, and let's be honest, potentially socially and professionally embarrassing pain around. So when I'm asked to rate pain, I have to laugh. Yes, I'm in pain, but hey, it's just new pain. Welcome to the club.

I have to admit, I was scared in the hospital. And I'm relieved now. But I also cannot swallow without any discomfort (insert inappropriate "that's what he said" joke here). And that bums me out. I've tried a lot of remedies and medications, and now am taking some time off of work to actually make this my full time job ... finding physical comfort.

Here are a couple of things I've found out so far since I made this decision:

1) There are only a handful of good doctors in this town. I put the word out on Facebook that I was looking for a good doctor. My Facebook friends were good enough to send me some really good referrals that checked out with some great reviews on Yelp. When I tried to make appointments with these doctors, I got timelines of 6-8 weeks out. Ugh. The appointment setters were eager to tell me that t other doctors in the practice were readily available. Double ugh. This is the problem I've been having the whole time! Bad doctors. I want a good one.

2) Facebook is crazy good/bad/insane. I was out of the office for just a short while when I started getting messages from concerned friends about my visit to the ER. Within 12 hours, I started getting concerned messages from college friends that could not go unanswered. I felt totally loved, but I couldn't believe how fast the "news" of my hospital visit spread. On the same note, I was able to use Facebook to solicit referrals and quickly connect with friends who have had similar symptoms. I feel more empowered and yes, not alone.

3) Even though I physically feel like shit, I feel optimistic and psyched that I'm finally putting the right kind of attention toward my health. I know it sounds drastic to take a month off of work, but when I landed in the ER, it just seemed like math to me -- get better and you'll be able to give more to everything.

And now you know!

Motivation Monday

January's here and I'm blogging again! But this time, I've got a plan. I'm taking a page from Zoe's playbook and naming my days. Not only do I think it's a nice way to frame my blog entries, but I think it might help me to stay on track with some of my goals and objectives for the year. Well, it's okay to try at least!

So, at first, I'm naming Mondays, Motivation Mondays, and my hope here is to post a few things that will motivate me for the week. And here's what's motivating Robin this week.

Geni.com. My new favorite website and where I've been building my family tree. It's a social networking site for genealogy geeks, so you can not only build your tree, but you can find other people who share your relatives and then build off their tree as well. It's a little tricky to understand at first, but I've really been enjoying it. Over my holiday break, I spent probably 50 hours on it, migrating my data from ancestry.com, which is a major rip-off for my money (and I've spent a lot there).

President Obama. I am not among the Dems who are "concerned" about his performance and I'm certainly not among the teabaggers who can't tell their ass from their blowhard elbow. I think that when history looks back on Obama's first year in office, it will be with admiration and marvel. In just one short year, I believe he has made tremendous shifts in the way that the world looks at America, he's opened up some very important and difficult dialogues, he's literally saved the US economy and he has just about passed some unbelievably historic health care legislation. Personally, I hate that we've escalated our involvement in the wars, but I trust the guy. As I said before he took the oath, none of us can possibly know what he has to deal with ... but I think he's doing a bang-up job. And he motivates me.

My girl. Being a mom is all fun and games until someone pokes their eye out. Unfortunately, that moment seems to happen more often than not. Despite my reluctance to become a part of normal society and my insistence on remaining a curmudgeon all my life, the girl does seem to make it all worthwhile. And for that, I give her the props.

Until the next posting ... and new theme. :)

 

 

 

Aggrieved

This time of year is always tough. The people who have gone, are so obviously gone. And as everyone flocks to be with their family, the absence of one is ever so clear. And now comes word that John Travolta has lost his child. Whenever someone goes through that kind of tragedy, you can't help but feel empathetic ... and so, that's how it seems this wintry holiday. Mia Farrow's daughter, John Travolta's son ... so sad, so reminiscient of personal tragedy.

I remain, personally, steadfast and faithful to my beliefs that life carries on ... but I do feel sad and weary all the same.

See You Next Tuesday Cindy McCain!

Running out of the Republican's stock in trade, fear, they've upped their ante this year with an oldie, but a goodie: hatred. Ask me why today, on Yom Kippur of all days, I'm a little sensitive to so-called leaders urging witchhunts and hatred. Issues? Please. Check this.

There will be violence and the Republicans will be the ones to blame. I'm off to synagogue. As I pray for peace domestically, I will pray for them to chill. At this point, I have no doubt that the right person will take office come January. Leadership, indeed!

Tears for Fears

I'm getting scared. So I re-designed my website. Cuz I couldn't let everyone know my outrage at the stupidity of the American people on that old looking site. No. I needed to refresh the look and feel of my my little blog first. Does that make me as vapid as the rest of Americans out there? Probably. But first, consider doing one of the following other things I'm doing with my spare time.

• Making calls in the evening in support of Sen. Obama for president. It's so easy, it's ridiculous. Just sign up at moveon.org. They will literally send you a link and you can make calls from the comfort of your home. They supply the phone numbers and the script and you're calling Move On members, so they are nice! You are just asking them to volunteer at a specific time, so you are not asking for money. I encourage all of you to do it. You can do it for ten minutes or ten hours!

• Posting links exposing the stupidity of the McCain/Palin clusterfuck so that people outside my comfort zone of fellow liberals can see it. Let's face it, most of the folks we all hang with feel the same way we do and though it's nice to commiserate with those who are believers, it's imperative that we get the word out to people who are sitting on the fence. This includes elderly aunts, curmudgeonly co-workers and persnickety neighbors. Reach out! Now is the time.

• Considering packing up Mia and hitting the road at least one of these weekends to canvas door to door. Battleground states like Michigan, Iowa and Wisconsin desperately need our help and I, for one, am ready to jump in my car and plead the case to undecided voters in person!

So, what about you? Are you ready to make that difference in the home stretch? Join me, cuz time is running out!!

Toe In, Begin Again

When blogging started, I started. And then I blogged for a while.

And then I stopped. Probably partly cuz I found out I could have been good at it. And partly cuz I'm lazy.

Except lately I haven't been as lazy. So I thought I'd revive it.

Again.

That means more posts about me. And Mia. And stuff that no one really cares about.

Welcome back boring. I have to say, I'm into it.

Large Adult

Those of us who used to post, then didn't, then wanted to, then didn't, then think about it a lot, then really want to, eventually want to write a 'post about posting' when they finally post again. I think that's a bad idea. Instead I want to post like I've always been posting. And so I will.

Recently I went to the doctor. I've got some sort of bacterial throat sinus cough-y infection yuck thing. But what I remember, and what I think about all the time anyway, is that the sort of nervous gal who took my blood pressure had to use a special cuff, one labeled, "Large Adult." Now it's not like I'm so big these days that they couldn't twist the thing around my huge-ass arms, but I am fairly big and they were having some trouble getting a decent reading. I am really bummed about my weight, a fact of life that is most definitely on my mind as I look at my horrible ill-fitting and unflattering wardrobe and get tons of painful reminders of ugh, including my 4-year-olds increasing awareness that mommy might not be a beauty queen.

My mom, however, kind of was. She was extraordinarily unconventional and really quite mad, but at the root of it all, she was incredibly beautiful and she knew it. Partly as a reaction to her, I've always sort of been defiant about not adhering to societal convention when it comes to makeup, certain types of clothing, and I suppose, a type of figure. I've always wanted to prove that it could be done "my way". But I think that there was a part of this that's  just plain laziness.

So I find myself at one of these crossroads, once again, as I have so many times before. But now, unlike so many times in the past few years, things are going quite well. So many good things have been happening in our lives. Mia is an unbelievable child, really an amazing human being. I feel so blessed every day. And we've moved to the North side of Chicago, which has been great for us. Our apartment is gorgeous and we're really enjoying it.

And my work life has changed considerably, something I haven't written about yet but suffice to say that I made some changes that were a long time in coming. I guess I haven't written about work yet because I am still processing it. See, I have been in interactive advertising since the very beginning. Since the beginning, the early days, literally since the pioneer days, which is a very weird thing. And it's been through a lot of ups and downs, as have I. The last few years I've seen some really crazy things that I've had to spend some serious time thinking about and I have to say, I've come up with some interesting insights about the whole thing. You will definitely be hearing more from me about this subject in the future.

So I guess my point is  I am making changes. I'm cutting my hair short on Friday. And I'm trying once again to get more fit, to move more and feel more like myself.  I may be a Large Adult, but I feel like I want to be living large.

The MiaBird

Okay, this is the last one I'm going to post ... but if you're reading the page, it may be the first one you're seeing. Does this make sense? Does it make sense that I'm going to spend this entire Sunday working and watching football (GO BEARS)? You bet your butt it does!

More Mia Singing

WTF?

My girl Mia telling it like it is.