The Wordmistress

Tears for Fears

I'm getting scared. So I re-designed my website. Cuz I couldn't let everyone know my outrage at the stupidity of the American people on that old looking site. No. I needed to refresh the look and feel of my my little blog first. Does that make me as vapid as the rest of Americans out there? Probably. But first, consider doing one of the following other things I'm doing with my spare time.

• Making calls in the evening in support of Sen. Obama for president. It's so easy, it's ridiculous. Just sign up at moveon.org. They will literally send you a link and you can make calls from the comfort of your home. They supply the phone numbers and the script and you're calling Move On members, so they are nice! You are just asking them to volunteer at a specific time, so you are not asking for money. I encourage all of you to do it. You can do it for ten minutes or ten hours!

• Posting links exposing the stupidity of the McCain/Palin clusterfuck so that people outside my comfort zone of fellow liberals can see it. Let's face it, most of the folks we all hang with feel the same way we do and though it's nice to commiserate with those who are believers, it's imperative that we get the word out to people who are sitting on the fence. This includes elderly aunts, curmudgeonly co-workers and persnickety neighbors. Reach out! Now is the time.

• Considering packing up Mia and hitting the road at least one of these weekends to canvas door to door. Battleground states like Michigan, Iowa and Wisconsin desperately need our help and I, for one, am ready to jump in my car and plead the case to undecided voters in person!

So, what about you? Are you ready to make that difference in the home stretch? Join me, cuz time is running out!!

Who am I?

I'm a pop-culture obsessed, aging copywriter with the confused beliefs and lifestyle  of someone whose generation straddles the fence between boomer and X. And according to my high school yearbook, I used to be hilarious.

So why, back in 2003, did I know what we'd be saying about the Iraq War now?

I am not even particularly versed in world affairs. I have my opinions and many of them are knee-jerk. I'm a woman, I believe in human rights, I'm a single mom,  I'm a white-collar worker who is lucky enough to get paid for doing something I like, but I've also been on welfare. My knee jerks as it does because I am fairly comfortable with my strong belief system. And my intuition, when President Bush and his sycophants predictably announced we'd be going into war, was that it would be endless and to no avail.

It did, in fact, give me pause that I could come up with such a reasonable, sane and measured response to something I so viscerally abhor. But as I've gotten older I've come to understand that war is sometimes necessary. (Actually, I don't, but I think it's a kind of maturity to say that I do. I suppose I do have some tolerance for the Civil War.) Still, it always looked so personal with Bush, so -- I'm gonna have a war, whoop-de-doo. Just like in the movies -- that I knew there was no real reason to invade a 3rd-party country, particularly when our country  needed attention and healing, not to mention the endless dollars it costs to support such a catastrophe.

I like the tone of this article I found this morning at the Boston Phoenix. I felt a kinship with its author. In some ways, I guess, I am responsible for the war. I voted for Ralph Nader. In my misguided enthusiasm for his intoxicating rhetoric, I felt like I was using my vote to say something about what I wanted my future to look like. When questioned at the time about the  possibility of a Nader Effect, I pooh-poohed the idea and arogantly added, if America is stupid enough to elect Bush, we deserve for things to get bad. Then maybe real change will be put into effect. The naivete of that statement was made painfully clear six months later when I lost my job. Working through the bureaucratic tangle that is the government, I eventually started working for myself, only to be taxed through the eyeballs for trying to make a decent living.

So in some ways, I can blame myself. But who can the so-called leaders and strategists in this country blame? Because guys, I was right. Not a day goes by that I don't consider living somewhere else to avoid a potential draft for my 4-year-old daughter. One of my beliefs is that cultures who integrate war culture into the fabric of the ordinary citizenry spawn war-obsessed offspring. So it is not surprising to see kamikaze soldiers willingly giving up their lives for what they believe to be a noble cause. But that is not our country ... yet. Think about it, more troops means more kids going over. A mandatory draft is imminent to ensure a fresh supply of soldiers.

I think we may need to do something, not sure what the right thing is. I'm surprised that there are not many anti-war rallys. I think at least writing your congresspeople and senators is in order. And my spirits are bouyed a bit by the introduction of legislation that may restrict the president's right to just keep upping the ante in Iraq.

Not quite the revolution I envisioned, but it may be a start.

A New Day

Today is a new day. I gotta believe that.

I'm starting a new eating plan that I'm really excited about. It's called Fat Flush and it's chock full of healthy goodness. If you are interested, go ahead and click on the link. I'll tell you this, if you have been on a lot of diets ... and I have been on a lot ... this one might surprise you. Though a lot of the ideas may sound familiar, it really seems different. Not to mention that I haven't found a negative post about it anywhere. So I'll let you know, but that's A1 on the agenda right now.

And there is more. I quit my job in early November. I'd love to dish about the wherefores and the whatnots of that particular change in my life, but I am going to save it for my memoirs. In the meantime, I've been happily freelancing on a variety of different projects, including ones that I'm doing directly as wordmeisters, which is my company. I'm also in the process of launching a bunch of weblog projects, so I'll let you know as that happens.

And as a sign that things are looking up, I just stumbled on my CafePress shop. It's a page I set up SEVEN years ago, and the last time I looked, no one had ever bought my cute little "pacifist" baby t-shirts. So, imagine my surprise and delight when I saw that over the past few years, 14 wonderful people bought something! There's even been a mini-run on them in the past few weeks. It's funny because I was just talking about them. Take a look, it might be the perfect gift for your little peace-loving friends this holiday season.

The Stabilizer

Here's the deal. I tend to blog about my life. The woeful state of poor ole me. Oy, I've been known to say. Can you believe the blow I've been dealt?

But things are okay right now. Life is fine. Dad is home and feeling fine and Mia is doing great. And so I've got to use my powers for good not evil. For a change.

A friend just sent me this link. It is Arab-American Psychologist Wafa Sultan on Al-Jazeera TV and wow, this chick brings down the house. She essentially takes Muslims to task for creating a culture clash and illustrates  how other religions took a more peaceful approach to protest and civil/social change. It is powerful shit.

It heartens me that there are such smart people out there and I hope that she is heard. Perhaps voices such as hers will balance the inane and banal that keeps coming out of Washington. Doubtful, but we can keep hoping.

The Low Down Greasy Grumps

Is it the barometic pressure? The change of weather? Or maybe it's hormones.  For whatever reason, I've been feeling totally grumpy since yesterday. And I even worked out yesterday! But shortly after my midday workout, I took some goodhearted (I think) teasing at work WAY too seriously ...  and then fell into major tears. Huh? I could not look at anyone without shooting daggers. Steam seethed from between my teeth. I worried about picking up Miss Mia, but as soon as I saw that cute little face, I felt much better. Thing is, as soon as I dropped her off this morning, the Grumps found me again. I almost ran a woman over for having the audacity to try to let me go ahead of her. Damn. This weekend, I'm going to Vegas to clean out my mom's storage unit. Do you think that maybe I'm feeling a little blue about this task? Could be, but you'd think I'd be just a little more mature by now. Guess it takes a whole lot of growing up to really grow up. Jeesh, I'm tired. Probably the barometer.

New News

I have been a very busy gal. As you can see, I've updated this web site. A new look! And a link to new pictures of Miss Mia. Yeah! And soon I will be pointing this web site to the url: wordmistress.com. But there's more ...

I've launched a new project, a  weblog that aggregates links to local efforts to help evacuees from Hurricane Katrina. You can find it here at www.hurricanehelpchicago.com .  Please come and visit and tell me what you think.

And there is even bigger news. I was finally hired at my job. This is the place I was laid off from 4 1/2 years ago!! I've been freelancing here for 2 years and yesterday they offered me a job (I knew it was coming.) I must say, it is a relief.

Now I'm going to try and do some real work. Advertising is real work, right?

Death Trip

So now I guess I'm an expert at saying good-bye. Getting the phone call, making arrangements, accepting condolences: I'm a pro. Do you need to tell your toddler about death? I'm your woman. Accept a terminal cancer diagnosis? Let's sit down. In the past two years, I've lost the two family members I love the most --- and now I am left caring for my dad. He keeps re-treading the details surrounding my mother's death, just as my sister-in-law did after my brother died. And it hurts me to hear it over and over again. Just as it did before.

When someone in your family dies, people flock to you right away. They want to do the right thing. They ask, "What can I do? I'll help you with anything you need." Thing is, you don't need anything. More to the point, you don't know what you need. Even more pointedly, you don't know anything. A couple of weeks later, you just feel lonely. You miss the person who is gone. And you could use some help. Not much, but some company. Someone to order some food when you just want to stare at the wall. But those people, the people who did the right thing right away, are off doing some other right thing, right now.

But you can't blame them. You can't blame anyone for anything. You've got to be looking onward and upward. Sometimes hard, but always necessary.

Shaking in My Boots

I'm scared.

A few months ago I had the great idea to post about politics everyday in my weblog. But everytime I went to the computer I was paralyzed by fear. What if Kerry doesn't win?

I don't think this will happen. I truly think that common sense will prevail and the majority of the electoral college will vote Bush out of office. But we never know, do we?

Meanwhile I've been, er, stressed out. I'm still loving life and all, but it turns out that having a toddler is hard work!! Mia is totally flourishing, but she is a spitfire. I get reports that she's bullying other kids in daycare. I get reports that she is moping and crying and trying to get attention. And sometimes I even see her act up. Daycare gets way mad and calls me all the time to document the little princess' every move. So I've had to start saying no to her on occassion. I guess she's kind of spoiled, but hello!! I am marshmallow in her hands. But I'm trying to buck up.

We went to vote this morning. She was intrigued for a moment, but then got distracted by a rubber band. I wish I could care that little.

Reality Shows

We've been sick as dogs, my lil' girl and me. One of our doctors, a good looking intern with dubious diagnostic skills, had us down with everything from the common cold to the measles. Turned out that we both had some god-forsaken virus that broke Mia out in spots and had me unable to hold anything warm. Yep, you heard me right. Rinsing my hands with warm water felt like I was washing with razor blades. Fun stuff!

Anyway, we are back with our normal pediatrician who set us straight and we are feeling much better. And Mia, who has now been stuck with the brand of slow talker is starting to get her words out. She can be very stubborn, so it is difficult to know precisely what she is saying, but I can detect definite words here and there and the other night she dropped her toy tiger and politely asked the woman next to us to "pick it up please". Or something very very close. Still, most of the time it's just a bunch of chatter, but still quite delightful.

Also, news flash: I'm not a supermom. Working, cleaning and living with a toddler is hard. Mia is so full of energy (thank goodness!) and she go-go-goes. I'm doing my best and I'm still loving it. Just thought I'd let you know.

And no more promises. I'll write when I can. Please stay tuned.

Frankie Says Relax

One of my very best friends, Amy, just had two great things happen. She gave birth to a sweet little baby boy (her second), Wes, and she had a book published! It's called Great Books for High School Kids: A Teacher’s Guide to Books That Can Change Teens’ Lives and she edited it with her colleague Rick Ayers. Amy mentioned it but did not make a big deal about it. So I knocked around the Web a little and lo and behold, it seems like it's getting major buzz. I was surprised and proud when I saw that Studs Terkel himself wrote one of the book jacket blurbs, praising them both as teachers. To me, that is the most impressive thing. That and little Wes. So all in all, I think Amy's having a good week.

Things around the homestead have been a little less nuts because work has really slowed down! I know that I should be grateful that I have a week off, and if I get more gigs, I can definitely afford a week off here and there, but I get scared that the gigs will dry up. Y'know what? I'm just now going to vow to enjoy myself. So what if there's a few dry weeks? I am still doing some small jobs, and I'm sending out resumes and talking up da' skills ... Must. Enjoy. Myself. I'll have to convince myself.

The gremlin is trying to do everything. She wants to drink out of a grown-up cup and does it all right for a bit and then celebrates with a turn of her wrist and a dump of the water. She is trying so hard to put on her own clothes, to undo her seat belt when we arrive somewhere, to feed herself, to talk! She has an extraordinarily sweet disposition. She has teeny-itsy-bitsy tantrums and stuff like that, but all in all, she is super swell. And way cool.

And then there are those tributes, like the little one I've got to share about the late Tony Randall. Most celebrity deaths are of remote interest to me at best, but there are the ones that have touched me deeper. Hearing of Tony Randall's death made me sad. First, it's one of those signs of your own mortality (of course, I've lived through more personal reminders). Second, he was just always a pleasure. He was iconic and funny and proper and interesting and comic and genteel and you know? He took himself seriously and didn't take himself too seriously, both at the same time. He was great and I will miss him.

Must. Enjoy. Myself.