The Engine, She Breaks Down

I put off writing, when writing is the very thing I should do. When the cathartic act of playing the scribe will allow me the distance to reflect, rather than constantly be entrenched in the day-to-day madness that is my life.

But I digress. Life has been nuts. The mighty oak (me) has fallen (I have strep). And so I finally have the time to catch up with what has been happening. And it's been a lot. A lot. A whole hell fuck of a lot.

Slow Start Mia and I spent a lovely Thanksgiving in Oakland, California, visting our friends Amy and Rich and their kids and then came back to a whirlwind of activity, with her birthday party and toilet training which, I might add, is going very, very well.

Humpty Dumpty But an ill-fated ice skating trip sent me to the emergency room a few days later when I could not peel myself off the floor. A damn persistent back injury cropped up again ... I fractured my vertebrae in a fall through a porch in 1989 ... and I was out on my back for three days. They did send me home with lovely parting gifts in the form of Vicodin and Valium, which would have been nice in the day, if you know what I mean. Friends, as usual, did come through and were able to help out with the child during this time and I was back up on my feet and able to take Mia through the additional whirlwind of Christmas and Hannukah, which she enjoyed very much. She was beginning to believe that December was the month of endless gifts for her. Though most of my co-workers got this time off, I had projects that were going on ... but they went fairly smoothly, and we had a good time.

A New Year At the stroke of midnight on January 1st, while we were sleeping over at a friends' house, Mia woke up her own bout of strep throat, and a new personality to boot. She struggled with feeling ill and out of sorts and really started to experience a lot of stress about being three years old, all at the same time. It was a shock to me, because she never went through the terrible twos, and I was completely freaking out. All of my methods of calming and soothing her would not work. I pled with co-workers and friends for advice, but to no avail. And then, at 2:30 am about a week later on a Thursday night, the phone rang. It was the Milwaukee Police.

"We have your father. Everyone's okay." Okay. So by now, I'm old hand at these calls. The call my sister-in-law made to me when my brother went into the hospital? I play it in my head all the time ... in the grocery line, when I'm taking a shower, when I'm at a stop sign. The call my Dad made me to me at work while my mom was dying next to him, as he described to me in detail everything that was happening? That was a doozy. I keep that one for special times. So, I wasn't even that shocked. Seems he took an extra sleeping pill and decided to go for a drive; was crashing into parked cars.

So, I've got that going for me.

No Place To Go But Up, Right? Two days later, I take Mia and a friend to the zoo. We're having a tons of fun, and both girls are behaving very well. Suddenly, Mia crouches down and I ask her if she has to go to the bathroom. But that is not the case. Within seconds, she is throwing up quite violently and to my momentary horror, I notice blood. I am instantly relieved when I see that the blood is coming from her nose. My relief subsides when I realize that I am not carrying any napkins, wipes or other cleaning supplies. Poor Mia isn't anywhere done either. I am trying to get her inside a facility, so that I can clean her up, but she is just throwing up and bleeding and looking unbelievably pathetic. Meanwhile, her friend is asking about the flamingos. No, honey, we can't see the flamingos, now. Mia is having an exorcist moment right now, can't you see?

At any rate, this elderly couple approaches us and looks at my poor, sweet daughter with horror in their eyes and asks what is wrong with that child? Nothing, I'm sure, I say. She's on antibiotics, I say. By the way, do you have a napkin?

Oh honey, this woman says. You have to take her to an emergency room. And before I could protest, this woman's husband has called 911,  an ambulance has pulled up and suddenly we are the most interesting exhibit at the Lincoln Park Zoo. Mia, of course, was fine. It was just one more interesting Sunday in the Kurzer household.

Since then we've been trying to get Grandpa to behave, attending a hell of a lot of kids' birthday parties and apparently, carrying infectious diseases around. I've been trying to plan the year, and looking forward to digging myself out of the bad luck. Here are the things I'm looking forward to this year:

• Continuing to lose weight, almost 30 pounds so far!
• Going to Disneyworld with Mia, promised her for toilet training
• Paying off my outstanding debt
• Working on some of my key projects (writing, blogs, crafts)
• Maybe, maybe, maybe starting to date!!

Wow, I'm glad I wrote that. I feel inspired. And exhausted. Spent. G'nite. And thanks.