The Wordmistress

Are These People Out of Their Ever Lovin'?

Candlelight vigils for Michael Jackson? Sorry to use such a hackneyed phrase, but now I've heard everything. Literally. I hate to beat a dead horse, but I haven't even seen any candlelight vigils for the Turkish. Or the Iraqis. Or for peace. Hello!!! Michael Jackson wrote a couple good pop songs when he was 18. Then he spent zillions of dollars making his personal appearance frightening, creating progeny that he is clearly socializing in damaging ways, and spending an inordinate amount of time with children, allegedly sexually abusing them, at least exposing them to the mind and behavior of a self-destructive man with little to no conception of self or sanity. Frightening signs of a coming apocalypse.

Just a Test

My folks are bona fide buffet junkies. So much so that they will hit a buffet on Thanksgiving. I put the kibosh on that this year by pulling the Mia card and insisting on a new tradition of Thanksgiving dinner at my house. In order to ensure a tasty meal, I now have a test stuffing in the oven. I stuffed a chicken with a delectable oyster walnut stuffing. I don't use recipes, but it looked pretty good. I'll let you know what the taste buds say.

Grant Me the Serenity

It's time to come clean. I have a problem. Those who know me best have known this for a long time but dare not say it aloud. I pray Mia never finds out. I am addicted to cheese. It started out innocently enough, peeling back a few slices of American after school. But then I got a whiff of the hard stuff. During the dot com explosion, it was easy. Lots of art openings, cocktail parties, trips overseas ... I know my friends feel sorry for me, perhaps talk behind my back. It's a calcium deficiency, I say. But it's an addict's excuse. When it's not around, I don't even think about it, but this morning at the Farmer's Market, I was blindsided. Caviar cream cheese!! Heavens to betsy. I snuck two samples and bought a frozen tub. Frozen because I can't be trusted. Frozen because it must go in the freezer until Thanksgiving when I can share it with my family, Wisconsin cheese eaters themselves. Frozen because if it weren't, it wouldn't have made it this far.

Double Trouble

Tweedledee and Tweedledum are two actual people I know. I'm not going to divulge their identities, but suffice to say, they are tiresome a couple with whom I am acquainted. They are the kind of people who take years to do a simple task. They are likable somehow, though very strange. They are not actually a couple.

I Want to be the Baby

Keith commented in my previous post about Irving peeing. He said that perhaps Irving was connected to the Internet and read my Cat in the Hat post and was, well, peeved. He may not have been far from the truth. As documented above, Irving does like to hang out on top of the computer, his gangly legs often marring my ability to see the monitor. But does this feline care? No sirree Bob. He doesn't. He is a big baby. He wants attention, attention, attention. In fact, when he sees Mia walking he purposely tries to trip her. Luckily, Miss Mia thinks this is quite humorous and pulls out a chunk of Irving's hair to celebrate.

This girl, Nellie, is content to loll around all day with her eyes closed. But at 5 am she will howl until I open my bedroom door and give her pets.

I'd sleep with the door open, but then the kitties think it's super fun to knock things like the clock radio and the baby monitor off the bedside table. No winning.

Okay, here's a treat for everyone who's read so far. A link. Sorry to say, but I've done it to my cats. Let it be known, loud and clear. I AM NOT A CAT PERSON!! I am a person, who has cats.

Whew. I feel better. Now, here's a fun cat game.

Criminal Behavior

Phone call with a client (more of those lately!!) and what do I smell? Cat pee and lots of it. For no apparent reason, Irving decided to leave his calling card on my bed. His litter box is not full, his food dish is not empty, he's been getting plenty of TLC. True, Nellie was locked in Mia's room but a simple nudge would have sufficed. Uncalled for. I assure you that a full investigation will be launched.

Suess Must Be Rolling Over

When Mia was a wee tyke, I bought her a Cat in the Hat stuffed animal and she loved it. I think she loved it cuz it was a cat. In a hat. See, we've got cats (Irving and Nellie). And this one was wearing a hat. It was literally the first thing she ever laughed at. She's slept with the Cat in the Hat ever since. So it would make sense to make her first birthday party, a Cat in the Hat party. But I simply cannot jump on the Mike Meyers advertising train. I don't think I've ever seen a movie cross-promoted so much. Every commercial that comes on is tied into the movie. The thought of those promotional plates and cups on our dining room table just made me queasy. They did make it into my shopping cart, but I had to remove them. Mommy don't go there. Yes, I do buy into the machine. I am a slave to pop culture. I bought one of Eminem's albums. I subscribe to People magazine. Occasionally, I even toil in the evils of advertising, for goodness' sake! But a person must draw the line somewhere. For me to consciously sully the good name of Theodore Geisel, it just don't feel right.

So we will put the Cat in the Hat to bed every night. And say goodnight to Irving and Nellie (the real cats). And read the book. Heck, we'll even see the movie. But we will not buy the keychains, the lawnchairs, the lip gloss ...

Meta-Fanboy

I'll admit it. Two summers ago, I stared at the blue screen of Metafilter with longing, it's closed membership making it all the more seductive to my opinionated fingertips. When the leader of the pack over there, Matt Haughey (known as matthowie), opened up memberships for a $5 donation, I jumped at the chance, sure I'd be one of the crowd in no time. Just as I was about to post ... a few long-winded, sad ego-drenched diatribes by the crowd over there put the kibosh on my aspirations. Oh, I still hit the site several times a day. I do find it amusing and timely. But the snarkiness is just ... boring. (Well, sometimes it's funny but the junior high part of me does not want to be target of it, so I rarely post.)

So I was amused to find this fella's website, on Typepad no less. The whole point of his website is to show how great his postings are, so that if Matt opens memberships again, he should be allowed to join and post. Thing is, his posts aren't great. (See I learned how to snark too!) I think he should probably be including several sources in his posts, not just one or two, and the general topics shouldn't be just historical but far more timely. Least I think that's what the crowd over in azure county would say. I just think it's an awful lot of trouble to go to prove that he's worthy. Shit, he can have my membership. Nah, on second thought I'd rather be a member of the crowd even if they are a bunch of know-it-alls.

Now here's some obligatory blog business: Obligatory Michael Jackson post. Obligatory Bush in UK post. Obligatory see ya later. Bye!

Busy

I found a really cute web site today, Busy Baby. This project is the brainchild of Busy Mom who has a pretty fun web site herself. My blog list of regulars is getting very very long. But if I don't keep busy with my blogging habit, I might fall back into one of my old bad habits. Like the Sims. Now that's a habit I just can't spare the time for anymore. I used to be terribly addicted. Then I quit cold turkey, sold all of my expansion packs on ebay. But after Mia was born and Ross died and I didn't smoke cigarettes or drink or have any truly nasty habits, I needed, well, I needed something. So I bought all the damn expansion packs up again and started playing again. When the work started rolling in, and Mia started rolling over, I stopped playing. I haven't gotten rid of the Sims this time, but I'm happy to say -- my name is Robin and I am pretty much an ex-Simmer.

Here is another clip I found in my web travels. (Warning: pop-ups) Unfortunately, I cannot credit where I swiped it from cuz I forgot. But Mia and I are both fairly entranced by it.

You may have noticed that I do not comment on the, er, conflict in Iraq much. It is mostly because I am so incredibly angry at the situation that words fail me. I have never supported war, though I do concede that there may be some cases where it is necessary. ('Cept I'm not sure what those are) I think George Bush (any one, pick your loser) is a vindictive fool who can't tell his ass from his elbow and I shudder to think of the poor souls who are blown to bits in the name of patriotism. Having spent Bush's entire term unemployed, I long for a government that cares about its domestic policies and doesn't wave its flaccid dick around in other peoples' business.

Jeesh. I'm so sorry. I was just talking about Simming and bumblebees and sweetness and then I got all medieval on George Bush' ass. Well that's the way this busy bitch bounces sometimes.

Lights On, No One's Home

I was amused to come across this conversation about dolls at Metafilter. Not only did it dredge up some pretty scary pix of dolls, it reminded me of an ongoing conversation I've been having with my mom about dolls for Mia. She keeps insisting that Mia needs dolls and I keep changing the topic. See, I'm a-scared. Thems dolls keep staring at me!! So I've been sticking to stuffed animals for the time being. I'm not really opposed to dolls that have soft, yarny faces. But those crazy porcelain faces with the wide open eyes. Yeesh!! Not ready.

Speaking of inanimate objects, I came across this news article on Bush's scaredy cat ways via the Two Things at Once web site. Dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb. DUMB!

I saw one of my favorite movies Sunday night: Guys and Dolls. Director Sydney Pollack did an intro and stated that despite criticism at the time of the movie's release, he loved Marlon Brando in the part of Sky Masterson, who was what Pollack called, a "dandy." Well, I agree. I thought the pre-carboloaded Brandy was just dandy. It's a great flick.

Finally, yet another Liza update. Word is that Miss Liza is going to guest (or is it gest) star on the new FOX show Arrested Development this Sunday. She has filed a countersuit against that nutbar of a soon-to-be-exhusband. I haven't seen Arrested Development yet, but it's supposed to be great. This would be a good time to finally tune in.